Showing posts with label bully free zone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bully free zone. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

How to Bully-proof Your Child

This is a super-interesting article about the modern view on bullying. Contrary to what everyone was told 20 years ago about bullying, the current (emerging) view is that the bully is not really at fault. Instead, the one that caves in and reacts to being bullied is really culpable for the potential harm. The premise is that bullying is a pervasive human activity, a form of social play, and the only way to lose at this activity is to not play at all (e.g., get mad, tattle, run away, become physically violent). Note that extensive research shows that bullies generally don't know that they are bullies. Since bullying is everywhere, and occurs without a need for outright malice or corruption of the bully, kids should be taught how to defuse it instead of trying to avoid it or stop it. It goes on to say that "bully free zones" are actually counterproductive and exacerbate the situation, since they put pressure on all the wrong points to modify the behavior.

This is the sort of turn-it-on-its-head thinking that moves things forward. While the article is a little bit fluffy, there is some substantial content.

I think the lesson that the target, rather than the bully, is in control of the situation and the outcome is a very good thing to teach children. In most situations, I think this is probably true. Further, bullying follows you into adulthood, in the form of subtle intimidation at work, bad bosses, competition, etc. Learning to be an agent (and not a target or bystander) in socially adverse situations is the lesson- at least bullies serve some useful purpose.

See WonderTime magazine (which Whitney loves):