UNFLUSHABLE

Obama wins, and undead dog farts

Everyone is blogging about Obama winning, and while I am indeed quite happy to have an educated educator for a president-elect, I can't bring myself to say anything interesting or funny about it. So I won't.

Instead, have you ever wondered why no one sees ghosts of pets? Think about it. What makes a ghost scary any way? I think that if you imagine a dead dog doing what a living dog does: licking its butt, chasing its tail, drooling stupidly- it's just not scary. In fact, the butt-sniffing undead are decidedly unscary. However, I have heard that walking through ghosts can send a chill through you, and my dog is always in my damn way, which would make my feet chilly a lot. Also, if he produced an etherial fart cloud, I might pass through that, and I imagine that wouldn't be a picnic either.

Basically, if I were haunted by my dog, he would probably just squat in front of me and perpetually poop in the wrong place. Damn dog. Not scary.

Undead cats would be pretty easy to ignore. I'm not sure that they're all the way alive in the first place.

Take that Hopely Changeson McHope (Obama's porn name).

Sad face, happy face

Credit Washington Post for sad McCain head. I'd be sad if I had his head too.

Quote of the day (election night)

"That guy is exactly like the Swedish Chef. Except black. And dead."

Honorable mention:
"You're the f**cking Saint Patrick of Cleveland for Anti-armadillos."